The ecstatic mind

To me, a Dom is The Keyholder. He can allow me access, he holds the map and knows my path. And he can deny me that very same access. That is his power. He can manipulate me till I whimpering admit to being a slut and a filthy whore, crying from gratitude that he brought me there, liberated from inhibition and social conditioning.

This is going to be tongue in cheek, but here we go:

I believe, basically, that religion is created by human beings. Catholicism, Paganism, Zen, Spiritism, Christianity in all its variations, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism and other vast pantheons. I get completely awed by the capacity of the human mind to create such enormous, complex metaphors of the human experience. I do not have "faith" in any of these as a direct bearer of a Truth that is not - in its essence - created by the imaginative power of the human mind. I do, however, have faith in the fact that the human potential is virtually limitless. Maybe the fulfillment gained from religion comes from the usefullness of its metaphors. It's ability to create extraordinarily strong frames of mind, through which life can be granted its meaning.

When I read all these posts on religion, I came to think of our discussion on 24/7 D/s and non-sexual submission. I think this discussion, as well as the one on sex and religion, addresses our varied and subjective paths to ecstacy. Fetishism, religious experiences, sprituality, Domestic Discipline, pain ... all can be individual and quite complex paths to that special, ecstatic mind/body space we all crave so much. And I have learned a lot about my own path from these discussions!

My experience of submission differs from some described here by the specifics of my path and by the "nature" of my ecstacy. It is located in a slightly different mental space, I think. As I have said before (can't remember if it was here or on my own blog), I am not cut out for 24/7 DD relations. And I think the discussion of religion has made it clearer to me why I am not.

A Dom does not govern me and I do not serve him. He does something, which to me is even more precious. He has the power to overrule every obstacle I (with my social/cultural conditioning) find on my path to ecstatcy. In sexual submission, I am not absolved from sin, I am liberated and pushed into The Forbidden, the dripping, roaring darkness of sexual ecstacy. I am dommed into going there without guilt. Into those parts of me which I either do not allow myself to access, or which I am unable to access by myself. And I am coerced, manipulated and forced to accept and love that "elsewhere".

To me, a Dom is The Keyholder. He can allow me access, he holds the map and knows my path. And he can deny me that very same access. That is his power. He can manipulate me till I whimpering admit to being a slut and a filthy whore, crying from gratitude that he brought me there, liberated from inhibition and social conditioning.

I cannot live within a relationship, where sin consists of not obeying rules which sounds too much like the rules of religions or fathers. Religions and fathers are the creators of obstacles on my path to ecstacy. My only sin is stopping at such an obstacle. And for that I do not want forgiveness.

A Dom is not a Father. A Dom is a killer of all Fathers. He overrules any father installed in my head, any motherly advice ever given to me. In his hands I am not freed from sin, I am liberated from any notion of "sin" whatsoever. That is his power. I am not begging for forgiveness. I am begging for allowance and the removal of obstacles on my path. He removes my responsibility for going there.

It may be a matter of semiotics only? A matter of concepts not making sense to me, not resonating within me. "Sin" is not an obstacle to me. "Forgiveness" only means that I have granted a Dom the power to define what is to be forgiven. I don't think I can do that. I think I might as well join a sect if I were to give up that type of defining power. "Guilt" isn't truly an obstacle either. If it was, I would be able to overcome that by myself. My obstacles are deeply rooted psychological inhibitions towards complete surrender to lust and ecstacy. To my Darkness. I cannot beat those alone. I need pressure, manipulation, coercion and a Dom who gets more and more aroused for every obstacle he makes me conquer.

Oh, Damn! This is so complex. I hope it makes some kind of sense anyhow. If not, please forgive me...

;-)