Making myself clear(er)

Damn, that's one fast response, RG :-)
I had a feeling I had forgotten something in my post, and you nailed it immediately. You're sharp as a razor, girl!

I guess my point is ... semiotic? What I mean is that the traditional concepts of sin and forgiveness doesn't strike any conscious chords within me. They have no meaning to me. Neither does the entire Christian structure of sin, redemption, forgiveness, absolution, etc., etc. It is a system which makes perfect sense if you have faith. That I have been brought up in a society in which morality and social restrictions to a large degree stems from a Christian tradition doesn't change that fact. That is - to me - merely historical residue. As a Dane, I also suffer from vague subconscious images of Viking strength - which doesn't mean that that I dive into a mythic Nordic mindframe every time I have to understand why I'm such an arrogant bitch.

The discourse within which I live effects me on so many levels. So, naturally, some of the inhibitions which I long to conquer stems from ideas developed through thousands of years, the majority of which were soaked in religious Mumbo Jumbo. The system in which these limits or inhibitions were generated and within which they made/make sense is not mine. And in society as a whole, that system has been transformed, it has morphed from religious beliefs based on faith and devotion into the basic moral fabric of Western life.

My inhibitions (or whatever they should be named) could, if seen through a purely religious perspective, be regarded as an awareness of sin. That perspective isn't mine, though. I feel these inhibitions as the result of a moral matrix imposed on me through life and nurture. I am oblivious and indifferent as to where they came from. Well, it is interesting from an academic perspective, but so far, there's no key to my sexual mind buried in religious texts. And I've read a few!

The Christian doctrine does not offer me relief. It holds no path to ecstacy. I do not regard my inhibitions as awareness (however subliminal) of sin, so forgiveness holds no attraction for me. My inhibitions aren't connected to a Master, a God, an "IT". They are my own, buried deep within me, and I'm sure Lord Jesus would prefer them in place. The path I'm trying to clear with the help of a Dom doesn't lead to a type of salvation accepted by any Christian doctrine that I know of.

If the obstacles in my path to ecstacy stems from Christianity (and God), what a Dom can do is not forgive me for my sins, but become an exhorcist freeing me from the historical residue of a religion I have never believed in.