22 August 2004

Ritual from the Top & Bottom

As a sub, I find ritual very powerful. Sometimes the ritual is merely something that has become a regular part of submission. Putting on my makeup and clothes are a good example of this. Sometimes it's something that taps into some deeper symbology, like when I offer my collar to MB and she fastens it around my neck. I know from correspondence with other subs that the comfort I find in ritual is not unusual.

When I originally posted this, I had been thinking about ritual only as a way to enhance the feeling of submission or domination. But Iela made a great comment about ritual's potential in the transition into the scene from "real life" and back again. I should have thought of this, as this is the way many people use the collar ritual.

But I've often wondered if Doms/Dommes felt the same way about ritual. Is ritual something you do because you know your sub likes it? Or something you do because it helps your sub get into the right heasdspace faster? Or does ritual help create/fulfill the experience for for you as a Dom/Domme?

Some part of me sees ritual as a way of deepening almost any act of submission. Another part of me sees this as annoyingly selfish. I should concentrate on what I've been asked to do, and not require the top to create a romantacized context for it.

The question remains: Is ritual something that enhances the experience for Doms/Dommes the same way it does for many subs? I really don't have an answer to this, or even much of a conjecture. I do know that I'd like to know what other people's answers are.

Note: I've revised this post recently based on a comment made by Iela.