Intro (Side A)

Hello. I'm Maculate Deviant (or MD or Devi, depending on who you talk to). And RG has been nice enough to let me post over here with all of the other subbies. ;)

Sure, I have enough room on my own blog to put up plenty of posts. So why over here? Because I want to keep my submissive blathering away from my p0rn, and because this blog seems to get more discussion than anything I've ever posted over on my own blog.

So. Here I am.

I've only been in one true M/s relationship. But it was lovely, and it made me feel whole for the first time in my life. I can't ever remember that feeling from any other relationship I've had. Sir was the one who let me know I was sub, and showed me how it could help me in my own life. And he did it with caring and intelligence ... and lots of nice blows with the flogger. ;)

To make a very long story short, Sir committed suicide in May. The whole experience has left me lonely, doubting, and guilty at times. And quite empty.

I've been talking to a lot of Doms lately (and a few submissives), trying to find out if I really am a sub. Most of them have no doubt that I'm sub. I think I'll have doubts until I find another Dom and see if I like it.

But finding a Dom is proving to be daunting. Everyone has a different opinion of what M/s should be, and finding someone with the same opinion is pretty hard. I'm finding that a lot of 'Doms' seem to think a sub should automatically lick their feet at the first meeting. How they've come to that conclusion is beyond me, but they have. And I'm just not wired that way.

This post is all over the place. Hope it made sense. 'Hi' to all of you other lovely folks out there!