running for work/ thinking of you

I wanted to say that this relationship I have with The One (the One i serve, not the One Big Scary-Guy God that seems to pervade human existence) is very religious. And I feel quite fortunate to have had what i feel are many religious experiences in my life.
My mother is very spiritual and had been a student of Zen for years and years before i was even born, so i was always around that calm, secure persence of one who knows she's not alone. Even when she's physically very alone. I went to a very wonderful Catholic school, after a wonderful Montasorri experience, and then began a very amazing trip with psychedelics, guided by grounded individuals who were using mind drugs to expand their minds, not just to get high and weird.
I spent years in the Episcopal (Anglican) church trying to be the "straight guy" for my husband and kids and had a confrontation with the Universe every time i let go of the notions that it was all a jive put on and let God--whatever-- into my head.
So that said, i've not been separated from God for long, and this isn't a substiution for IT in my life... but its definately part of IT. This other person who does EXACTLY what i NEED, right when i need it the most....instinctively, gladly, willingly, I hesitate to say its a "Gift from God" because that's separating it from IT and it can't be separated, its whole and perfect.
I just know that we ALL have the same experiences, humanity is too bound up, we are too close for us to be separated and to expect that we'd all be different. I mean, I know we ARE different, different colors, different shapes and wants and experiences, but that core bit of us, that part that belongs to God, IT, the Universe, that part that goes back to IT when we die, and came from IT in the beginning, that part of us is all the same. I have grief, you have grief, I have elation and happiness, you have it, even stimulated by different things, we are all the same, and that's a head trip all by itself.

There's so much more, but it will have to wait, and that's very frustrating to me.
xox