Fake Punishment?

Okay, so here's my post. :P

When I was with Sir, even before I went out to visit, he made it very clear that I wouldn't need to misbehave to get flogged.

As a matter of fact, he specifically told me, "I don't want you to misbehave. I'll help you find subspace and it won't be punishment ... it'll be playing. Punishment is different, and you won't like it."

After that, I mentioned something about chewing up his socks ... but I digress.

I liked that idea. I liked the way of thinking he had. Even before I had much to do with BDSM, the thought of being a 'bad puppy' was not a thrilling one to me. My psyche is such that that's probably the worst sort of punishment that someone can inflict on me; when I'm subbed out, I thrive on making people happy.

The one time I challenged him was interesting, though. He'd told me to do something, and I just sort of looked up at him and smirked. He didn't realize for a few moments that it was a challenge, but when he did ... the physical punishment was swift, harsh, and intense. It caught me off guard, and of course it felt horrible. Nothing like "playing."

But, in a way, it also put me in my place and reminded me who was the Dom and who was the puppy. I thanked him for it afterward. Partially because he let me know that it didn't mean that I was horrible, and partially because he was paying enough attention to my actions to recognize that I was challenging him in the first place. And, for the record, I challenged him just to see if he was paying attention.

In talking to and interacting with a lot of Doms since then, I was extremely surprised at the amount of them that actually expect me to misbehave, just so they can have an excuse to flog me. Really, they don't need that. I like flogging/pain (to a certain degree), when it's done right. I've tried to explain that to them, and I've also tried to explain that I don't like misbehaving, but they don't seem to grasp that little concept.

Recently, after a bit of play with a "Dom", I was accused of being too submissive. He didn't say it in so many words, but that's the general meaning I caught from what he told me.

WTF? Is there such a thing? And if there is, is it bad? Needless to say, I didn't feel so kosher after being told that, and doubt I'll ever, EVER play with him again.

I have no idea if this makes any sense whatsoever, but there you have it. Now I'm feeling all nostalgic.