A Sigh Is Just A Sound?

I think I might be ... sort of ... on the verge of ... or something ... falling in love with someone I met online. Yes, it's very ironic, given some of the posts here recently.

Thing is, I hate being in love. I hate liking someone enough to let down some of my walls.  Because when I get disappointed, it's like a deep sucker punch in my gut.

I have no idea if it has anything to do with me being submissive or what, but if someone lets me down (even if it's not their fault) I feel like it was something personal, and I even -cry- about it.

Yes. Cry. Even if it's something small.

And I hate that. I think it makes me inherently weak. I hate the thought that I might be weak on the inside ... I hate letting people affect me like that. I would rather be painfully independant.

And since that's what's happened today (even though it was just a mistake), I think I'll be rebuilding some walls.

Okay, I'm rambling horribly. Hodgepodge post. Eek, right? I don't think I'll even bother to spellcheck this one.