14 June 2004

Where do you draw your line?

I've mentioned before that I get really annoyed with online chat that includes the statement that "I love everything" or "You can do anything to me". I'm certain that everybody DOESN'T love everything that I could come up with, in fact, part of me wants to deliberatly horrify those people who suggest that they'd blindly follow me along which ever perverted path I would choose.

But I've also realized in the past few days that i'm not sure where my limits would be with Jon, aka, The One. He's never pushed me that far.

I think, I'm not much of a kisser (its always kind of grossed me out, actually) and then i find myself sucking on his lips and tongue like i'm starving. I think, he's too big and too strong for me to want his weight on me, his hands around my throat, then i beg him to mount me and hold me tightly. And His hand closing around my throat makes me cum. His bites make me shudder with orgasm. His body pushing me into the mattress makes me feel loved and protected in a way i never felt before.

I've never been one for public display, but i gladly wear his collar when we get away from this little Baptist/Republican town, i revel in his attaching my ankle cuffs around the table leg at a swank sushi retaurant AND LEAVNG ME THERE WHILE HE WASHES HIS HANDS. When He unfastened me at meal's end and praised me as His "Good pet", i felt reborn. I want to hold His hand, but i want more for Him to grasp my wrist and lead me where He wants me. I want to be lead by Him.

So here i am with all this conflicted information, what i want, what i like, what i *thought* i wanted. What i REALLY want. I used to be pretty sure i knew what i would and wouldn't do, now i'm not so sure. And i'm not sure that's a bad thing.

When do you stop? personally, where do you all draw the line?

Because i'm thinking, its really blurred for me lately.

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13 June 2004

cock sucking epiphany

I had an epiphany of sorts this weekend and pulled out my compact mirror from my purse so I could see his thick purple cock sliding in and out of my mouth (which is usually attributed as being my best facial feature, although The One might disagree).

I was so aroused by the look of my mouth, and his cock, the image has stayed with me. i think His cock is beautiful and He's told me that my mouth is beautiful. Together the reflection was such a huge visual, i may never be the same again.


Clearly, it has become worship for me, for us. Oral-genital contact was never this satisfying before. As trite as it sounds, i feel like a virgin with Him, each time. i've forgotten that i ever did it with another person.....nothing could have prepared me for this level of intensity and devotion.

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